A few nights ago, I went to a dinner I was invited to. I decided to be observant. I was tired, and being quiet and reflective wasn’t a challenge. I took on the role of Nick Carraway in Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.
That was fun. Really. How people look at other people. How they smile at each other. How they eat, punishing their food for what other people are saying. Strange. Everything changes when you withdraw and look at the scenario as a member of the audience. A person who is watching a “slice of life.”

Is any girl reading this an only daughter? Do you get dragged to social events? Forced to attend 3azayem? Have your outfits been checked and double-checked? Your make up and hair scrutinized? Please say yes. Otherwise, blekh!

More pictures that express how I feel. I’m doing this because I don’t think I’m willing to find words to describe what’s going on inside.


I cried last night. My silent tears soon turned into loud muffled sobs. I cried with my whole body. I cried so physically hard, it took me two hours to muster enough energy to get out of bed.

I have a migraine.

Don’t ask what happened. Don’t expect much the next few days. I’m at complete loss for words.


40 Responses to “Hiatus?”

  1. 1 zwena


  2. 2 zwena

    ee r u an only child? 😛

  3. 3 Ge6awEe

    im nut the only gurl in the family, but im the eldest daughter.. and yes i do get dragged to gatherings, parties and weddings, and i absolutely hate it! HATE it! (it’s normal, mothers want to see their daughter getting married lol) <-- thats why i think im being dragged and nagged about going to those silly little gatherings.
    ARRGHHH the frustration of being luked at like an animaal they wanted to mate so that the breeding could start. efff!

  4. 4 Amethyst

    No, I have two brothers:)

    Awful, isn’t it? Especially when it’s people you wouldn’t be bothered about..

  5. 5 AnGeL

    i’m writing this now with my hair wet and trying to figure out what to do with my hair for a wedding i have no idea why i’m going to….come to think of it..i don’t know the names of those getting married :p talk about social punishment…

  6. 6 Amethyst

    Social punishment it is!

  7. 7 Moniker

    i’m an only girl. argh.
    bs omy ma t7b 3zayim, so i don’t have to worry about being forced to attend those. bil yallah she goes herself 😀
    but yes..she scrutinizes every little move i make. -_-

    people watching is my favorite sport :p

  8. 8 The Archer

    Allah y3eenkom!

    Guys get ready in 10-15 minutes, tops!

    Shower, put on a Dishdasha, pop a piece of gum in your mouth, and you’re ready to go!

    But with girls… it’s like painting a work of art! It takes forever.. I applaud your courage and spunk! 😉

    And Amethyst.. *hug* 🙂

  9. 9 Cat

    7abeebti .. * hug *

    wats wrong !!

    I am an only doughter taqreban .. and Yes I’ve been forced to do soo many things ! and It sucks big time ! I know 😦

  10. 10 kila ma6goog

    عسى ما شر؟

  11. 11 Bulletii


  12. 12 F.

    “I hope everything’s okay” is what I wanted to say…

    But I’m sure it’s not, and that’s why your post is what it is…

    I shall now change my sentence slightly:

    I hope things get better soon


    PS: There’s an androgenous painting among those…sexiness ;P

  13. 13 N.

    A good cry is therapeutic once in a while. I hope you feel much better dear 🙂

  14. 14 Amethyst

    Luck you!

    It’s so interesting!

    The Archer
    Men should applaud women for as long as they breathe..



    What’s wrong? It’s a cruel cruel world..

    I know;\

    Kila Ma6goog
    Life’s a bitch:)


    I hope things get better soon, as well;*

    Sexiness it is;p

    I will sometime soon, hopefully. Screw migranes!

  15. 15 manutdfanatic

    Two brothers? Let me guess; you’re in the middle?

    Oddly, I don’t get dragged too much, my parents are a tad different that way, or perhaps it is the fact that I simply cannot say no to my father; it is impossible, you have to understand when a man smiles ever so sweetly at you and requests, actually requests you to accompany him/them.

    I relate to the crying bit in ways and on levels words cannot express. When I wake up after a night like that, the first phrase that leers in my mind is…how can things taste, actually taste…of grief?

    I do hope you feel better. *hug*

  16. 16 Amethyst

    Yeah, how’d you guess?

    I get dragged like I’m their purse/wallet:)

    How do things taste like grief? After a night like that, the world is grief. Everything is pain.

    Thank you. *hug*

  17. 17 manutdfanatic

    I guessed because I’m the middle bit too; one brother on either side. *knowing smile*

    The world does become grief, but usually as the day passes, it gets better…the tears do help. I feel like a night like that right now actually…

  18. 18 Aj

    be positive.. things will work just fine, i have faith in you.

  19. 19 jesterat314

    Its gonna be alright….
    ‘Tears are the summer showers to the soul.’

  20. 20 Big Pearls

    oooh sweety, I really hope you feel better soon:/

  21. 21 Silver

    Cry your heart out babe, sometimes a girl just needs to let it out…and it’s good for you.

  22. 22 Amethyst

    Great. We can relate:)

    Tears don’t seem to help this time..

    I have faith in you.


    They are?

    Big Pearls
    I hope so, too:)

    I will whenever I feel like I can.

  23. 23 haj

    The last painting, I think i know what it’s about but I don’t know to describe it. It reminded me of you… it’s sad.
    I’m sad for you, I dono what to say to make you feel better cuz I know nothing is gona help. I feel like a bad friend ;/

    Just know that I love you, I’ll always be here for you and I know the butterfly inside of you will start soaring high again;*

  24. 24 Amethyst

    At least the lady in the last painting has her wings spread;)

    You shouldn’t feel like a bad friend, darling. There’s nothing I can do to help myself. It’ll be over sooner or later. I prefer sooner:)

    I know. I love you more. And I promise you I will. No disappointments there;*

  25. 25 nyxxie

    Although Im not an only daughter, this is what society has morphed into. People eyeing everything you wear from jewelery to clothes and shoes.. Its sad when materials become the only thing people observe, but take it easy. Be greatful that you’re as great as you are to notice how pathetic they are! : )

    ps. sorry i deleted your comment coz i had to delete that post because i wasn’t sure of part of the 7adeeth, BUT i did post another nice story I promise you’ll like.

    Enjoy and have a great day!

  26. 26 Hamitaf La B.

    I love the Great Gatsby… one of my favorite books… and movies…

    Im not an only daughter… but Im the eldest… so yeah.. I FEEL YOU!!
    I get dragged everywhere… and my make up and/or hair are never perfect… everyone might like it except for my mother… and my outfits – to my mother – always make me look fat.. HUH!!!

    Crying is good… I feel it gets all the negativity out of your system… even if you wake up with a migrane later…

  27. 27 Amethyst

    I’m very thankful:)

    Will check it out;p

    Hamitaf La B.
    Me, too! I love how everythig is from Nick’s perspective!

    Yeah, it’s a mom thing. My mom literally scrutinizes everything AFTER she picks the outfit and all that!

    It should. Migranes suck though;\

  28. 28 rawr

    Yes, im an only daughter and it happens all the freakin time! I’m being sent to finishing school -_-

    I cried last night too *hugggg*

  29. 29 Amethyst

    My mom is into that as well;\

    Life’s tough;(


  30. 30 ~ Dreamzy ~

    wow !! 😦 so true …how horrible it is to be dragged everywhere! especially if mother doesnt go to most of them because of religious reasons. Its more embarrassing to have to explain your self your situation and family history of why isnt my sister attending and why isn’t my mother there.

    Thats worst than all. Forced to go somewhere were you dont care about the people .. all alone.

    It brings tears to my eyes every-time i remember checking with the entire family if anyone has an extra space in their car to pick me up with them.
    ugh how much i hate that.

    and i dont think it ends when ur married; coz i still see it happening!

  31. 31 Amethyst

    That’s awful! You go alone to people you don’t care about?! I’d rather be shot in the head;\

    I’m going to use my husband as an excuse;)

  32. 32 eshda3wa


    tawich kintay happy eshzenich!

  33. 33 Amethyst

    Meta tawni?:)

  34. 34 ..::Amu::..

    what happened?

  35. 35 Amethyst

    Nothing I can talk about. That’s why I asked you guys not to ask what happened.

  36. 36 Bulletii

    Amethyst.. are you ok now? Ana a7ateech. I hope you’re ok.

  37. 37 Amethyst

    La et7ati. I’ll be over it. Soon:)

  38. 38 Glitter

    Oh 7beebti 7abeeeeebti

    whatever it is, time heals everything..

    وما بعد الضيق إلا الفرج

  39. 39 pocketfullofsunshine

    “Do you get dragged to social events? Forced to attend 3azayem? Have your outfits been checked and double-checked? Your make up and hair scrutinized?”

    Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes!! I feel you … I swear!!

  40. 40 Amethyst


    Time heals everything that was once there. It doesn’t heal something that will stick with you for life.


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