3aza

29Sep08

[Update: The title has nothing to do with the post.]

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

—

She sits on her reading chair. Breathing nervously into her phone. Typing distractedly on her laptop. Heart beating frantically at the sounds and silences wafting up from right underneath her feet. Her mind’s mental gears are clanking from the intensity of her thoughts. She worries in a good way. If there is such a thing.

She can’t eavesdrop. Last time, she sat on the stairs. This time, anyone could come in through the door right in front of the stairs. She wants to eavesdrop. She doesn’t care that it’s immoral. It’s not when it concerns you. When it’s your parents discussing how you’ve shut them off with you independence, for example. Or so she thinks. So she believes.

She takes a deep breath every time she realizes that she hasn’t breathed in a while. To take her mind off things, she goes through a list of numbers. Trying to make the right appointment for the right day. She’s confused and hesitant. Not concerning the appointment. But the chaos downstairs.

Finally, she is called downstairs. She smiles through her tears. Through hugs and handshakes and light-hearted jokes. She sits and listens. Glad that everything went well. She’s put at ease. Gradually getting more and more sure that this is the right choice.

…

A night later, she realizes that there is no happiness without hurting others. Others who are of much importance. Who wanted what she has now. Perhaps with her.. or someone else. She knows now. This is how it works. But once everything is sealed. She will learn some more. It is time she put herself before others. To be considerate of her own emotions. To live her own happiness. To make sure that she puts into practice her ability to love unconditionally. She cries. As if to get rid of all the negativity.

Then she smiles at the thought of being with him.

Advertisement

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  22 Comments