She killed my birds!

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

She goes out for a drive. An hour and a half of sleep did not allow her to sleep off any of her thoughts. She drives with her windows down, hoping some of her thoughts would fly out the window. She wonders how her thoughts would mark the road if they were to fly out. She smiles at the thought of streaking the roads with fiery magenta, serene turquoise, and hopeful violet.
She looks down at her white pants and white shirt. She wishes her life could be that white. It is pure, but it is not blank nor simple. Far from it. She glances at her puffy eyes in the rearview mirror. She knows she looks drained. Is there anything she can do about it? Probably not.
She parks in the middle of nowhere. She is very lost, but she does not care. She steps out of the car and leans on it. There’s a soft hot breeze blowing. Her shirt is caught in wisps of air. She looks down. Her feet, in white flip flops, seem ugly. There’s nothing interesting to see. But what could be interesting anyway? She does not even know where she is. Ridiculous.
A few more minutes and she’s back in the car. She does not know where to go. The windows are still down. Music plays, but the volume is three. She knows the music well. There is no need to increase the volume and have the whole world hear it. She starts the engine and takes a deep breath.
She drives aimlessly. She does not make an effort to look for clues on where she should go. She is out of credit. She does not even want to call anyone and ask for directions. She drives checking off thoughts in her mind, ending each one with a sense of closure. That way, there is more of a chance she can get some sleep when she gets home. If she gets home.
An hour later, she is singing along with the music that is playing: “Mr. Therapy Man how can I live on?” She is heading home, now, her body covered with a light shiny film of sweat. She knows where to go. She could not care less about her tear-streaked face or her crumpled shirt. Her family has already noticed that her life has shifted in a way.
She walks through the big door of where she lives. She wipes her face with her sleeves and puts on a sincere smile. She hugs her parents and playfully punches her brothers. Her parents ask her where she went. She looks up and says, “Nowhere, I was just around the corner the whole time.” They exchange a look. They know she is lying, but they do not ask anymore questions. So, she heads upstairs.
She takes off the only pants that fit her perfectly after her weight loss and walks over to her special chair. What now? She picks up a book her friend has lent her. No, she is not in the mood for disturbing stories. She gets up and throws herself on her bed. She lies there with her eyes closed for a while. No sleep. She gets up again and signs in from the laptop. The only person she can talk to is online. But what does she say? She says nothing that has been on her mind for a long time now. She silences her thoughts and stays uncomfortable in her own skin. She ignores her restlessness and stares at and through the screen.
She shrugs every once in a while. As if she is shrugging off all her worries. And she takes a deep breath after she shrugs. As if she is cleansing her soul. And after that, she smiles. As if the world does not know what is behind her sincere smile. So, she laughs at herself. Not in pity, but in wonder.
And this made me angry.

23 Responses to “She killed my birds!”

  1. 1 Purgatory

    hahahahahahahaha, you know I only come to check your cartoons, I never read posts, I skim quick 🙂

  2. 2 haj

    I just saw the video and you dono how angry I am right now. How could someone throw a dog just like that? …fucking americans

  3. 3 OpeRon®

    That was a very interesting post indeed.. She is sad, She is frustrated at life, She’d trade her whole life.. but yet she chooses to bury all that disdain deep down her soul & go on.. perhaps, there’s something better around the corner

    My Fav part was “She drives with her windows down, hoping some of her thoughts would fly out the window… “

    Amazing piece

  4. 4 Amethyst

    I know. You disappoint me;p

    Oh, well. Cruel people are everywhere.

    Perhaps there is..


    Thank you;*

  5. 5 kila ma6goog

    am angry too :/

  6. 6 Fastidious Babe

    That’s a great piece of writing, i’m sure everyone went through something similar at one point and can relate to it… i know i did, a touching read indeed.. xx

  7. 7 Big Pearls

    loooooooooooooool oh my god the comic is hillarious!

  8. 8 N.

    There is usually good and bad everywhere. I’m sure, a soldier has gone out of their way to help all those he can in some way, and on the other hand there are people like that… sick.. twisted. 7asbi Allah wane3ma alwakel!

  9. 9 Amethyst

    Kila Ma6goog

    Fastidious Babe
    You’d think everyone would related to it, but they don’t. You’d be surprised.


    Big Pearls
    Hehe, yeah!

    True. It’s a disappointment;\

  10. 10 manutdfanatic

    She needs to explore the many facets of her life and demarcate what makes her happy. She’d be surprised at how many little things she’s overlooked.

    Pretty much a cliche, yet sometimes…every single one of us need to be reminded.

  11. 11 Amethyst

    Maybe she has, and maybe the things that make her happy aren’t withing her reach.


  12. 12 The Masquerader


    1. when she’s in the car, khat6awil 3al volume 7ADA! with songs 7afthat’hom, take herself to a new world so noisy that she cant hear her own thoughts,

    then smile,

    2. get ice-cream, let her eat it like she’s never eaten b4,

    then smile,

    3. when he’s online and she cant talk, wila “mako swalif” wila lama ykon wagif yamha, jbalha biljam3a aw mokan, make her open up her laptop / mobile or a hold a pen and write about that exact moment, how it feels, what she wants to do, whats she expecting, what she WANTS tp happen, make it include imagination, make it include dreams ..

    then smile, and go to sleep

    a week later, read what uve wrote,

    it’ll put a smile on ur face, wa3ad

  13. 13 Amethyst

    The Masquerader
    1. She’s not the sort to deny her thoughts. She hears them out and ends them.

    2. She’s eaten enough ice cream to last her a lifetime;)

    3. She’s got a clear picture of what she wants.. except it won’t happen;p

    She’s smiling. Really.

  14. 14 The Masquerader

    1. this aint about denying nothing, she doesn’t have to “deny” em, only give em a break, believe me sis, the strongest needs a break, just to clear their minds to think better

    2. great, make sure its her fav flavor

    3. this aint to put a clear picture, just try she’ll understand better when she does

  15. 15 Amethyst

    The Masquerader
    1. She gives them a break once in a while. That drive was to deal with them.

    2. 😉

    3. What’s the point when she can’t have what she wants?

  16. 16 The Masquerader

    1. do it the right way, that drive wasn’t

    2. (=

    3. told u can’t explain it, ull have to try it, then let me know the result

    sis, this i experienced A LOT! .. n im telling u, these tips i gave u, are the way to go, try em, minty khasrana

    (they go into more details, sorry thats the shortest i can get em to be)

  17. 17 Amethyst

    The Masquerader
    1. Ways of dealing with things differ from person to person.

    3. It doesn’t work that way in her world.

    And who said I’m the one going through this? Do you realize that this is simply a piece of fiction?

    What works for you might not work for someone else.

  18. 18 Soul

    Remember Oasis ?

    ~ Soul

  19. 19 Amethyst


  20. 20 Soul

    One in the desert ?

    ~ Soul

  21. 21 Amethyst

    I don’t get it;p

  22. 22 Soul

    Take your time..theres no hurry.

    ~ Soul

  23. 23 Amethyst

    I still don’t get it;p

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