Archimedes’ Eureka
05May08
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
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I chide my insomniac self. Staying up all night, thoughts swimming around in my head. That can’t be good. Right? When the thoughts get too intense, too confusing, I pick up a book. Only to find out that it increases the profoundness of the thoughts that I am trying to get rid of. At times, I meditate. And for a while, my mind is blank of everything except a nonexistant spot hanging in mid air and the sound of my systematic breath. But.. only for a while.
I wake my sleeping phone. I decide to call someone who would exhaust me mentally until I feel sleepy enough to close my eyes and get lost. It’s not difficult to decide who to call. But then, I hesitate. How selfish of me to disturb other people in the middle of the night or at the break of dawn! I kill my phone again.
Then I realize that only one thing will cure this thought addiction. I walk over to my shelves. I take a pencil and tap it against my pouted lips while I look for paper. Should I write in one of my notebooks or on loose leaf? I smirk at myself. Why is that so important?
I sit on my bed. I tap the pencil against one of the numerous scattered pillows. I can’t write. Too many thoughts. Too many ideas. Too much to spill. Too much. I try to scribble until I come up with something that makes sense… Nothing. Not one thing. Not even a sentence fragment.
I sigh and push back my freshly cut bangs. The strands rush back home. Then, I do what I always do. I bite down on the end of the pencil. And I curl a strand of hair around my index finger. Over and over and over again. And my mind starts functioning under the magical combination of stress and insomnia. Generating thoughts. Putting them in order. Evaluating them. Making sure they aren’t nonsensical.
Ha! I take the pencil out of my mouth. My mom would be appalled at all those bite marks. I put it against the paper. And I write… I write this. I spill out the daily routine resulting from my confusion. Who am I, really?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 26 Comments
Poshlust 
You are a confused little gurl trapped in a turtle’s body.
ThePurg
Little girl? Turtle’s body?!
yeah, or would you like little boy trapped in a elephant’s body?
ekhthay monawem ;p
i just want to sleep
one goodnites sleep
if u find a cure
pass it on
ThePurg
Lol. I don’t want either:)
Shoosha
Omi khashat`hum;(
Eshda3wa
Will do. Try lavender if you haven’t yet:)
I’m sorry to say this, but I honostly think you do this to yourself. I understand why you’re confused, I understand that you think a lot of things in life aren’t fair, but I also know that you know that this is life and things aren’t always the way we want them to me. I know you realize that!
Haj
Of course I know that life is unfair. I don’t understand why, but that doesn’t matter.
Being confused about who you are has got nothing to do with the cruelty of life. It’s got to do with what you believe in and sudden shifts in your way of thinking.
من ربع بن لادن؟
I’ll tell you.. as soon as you tell me who am i!!
don’t give it alot of thinking and u will go over it
Only you know who you are. It will take you a while to find out but when you’re least thinking of it, it will hit you and you will finally understand who you really are.
But you do know what you believe in 100% don’t you?
When you find out let me know :p
“I am the me I choose to be…”
Don’t ask yourself who am I… see the things you like in yourself and see the things you would like to see in yourself… choose who you want to be and work on being that person…
Um… tefelsef 9a7…?! Bs I read it somewhere and its extremely helpful 🙂
Oh and use “The Secret” and keep telling yourself I always have a goodnights sleep and actually believe it… maybe it’ll work.. I hope it does 🙂
the cure is what you mentioned inda meditating and clearing all your thoughts. Start fresh everytime
Kila Ma6goog
Yemkin;p
Aj
I will:)
Cat
Thought addiction doesn’t help;\
Fourme
Let’s hope it hits me soon:)
Haj
No, otherwise I wouldn’t be confused..
N.
When I find out, I might let you know;p
Hamitaf La B.
Mu tefelsef;p
Everyone is who they choose to be deep down. I like a lot about myself. I just need to straighten things out, so that I can answer the haunting question.
I’ll do that. So far, all the things I believed in happened:)
Kaos
Yeah, I agree. The hardest part is starting fresh.
definitely confused!
Big Pearls
Established already:)
I wish there were a video of that…
like a music video or the beginning of an awesome low budget movie…
sexiness!
usually when something important happens to me, or if I get excited about something, I have trouble sleeping that night, because my mind can’t stop churning over it.
It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I simply start reciting ilfat7a over and over. it can take a couple of times, or sometimes a couple of tens of times, it always helps me il7emdella.
I guess maybe it does because it feels like I’m filling the time with something I KNOW for certain is good for me, while it keeps my mind on the simple yet powerful words. like everything I needed is right there, and that gives me contentment.
F.
Never thought of it that way.. Ultimate sexiness;p
Falantan
Hehe, if I’m content, I sleep:)
Ele7mdillah:)
Again, it’s the contentment that counts..
AMETHYST!!!!! ;*
Bulleti
BULLETI!!!;*
Where were you?!;@
i’m here. i will write about it soon. i missed you a LOT! 7adiii. i will set up my blog soon.
Bulletii
Ebser3a please!
Miss you, too;*