Outside

31Mar08

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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She used to see through her feelings, but now, they simply blind her. It is too much to handle. It is sad how the world has turned into something pathetic in a moment. She has been asked a question, and her reply made her realize that she really has a lot more to understand. There is so much ahead of her, she carries the weight of not being able to comprehend on her eyelids. Yet, she cannot sleep. She would love to learn how to get through what she is going through without having to grit her teeth and blink back her tears. Maybe she will. Maybe. It never occurred to her that she might have to keep everything behind the walls of her bright expressive eyes, so she does not upset her loved ones. Her eyes tell more than she thinks they do. Her anger is not really anger. It is fear of what might happen later. Or soon even. She has always been scared of not being able to live life the way she wants to. She has to learn to face that. What about her feelings? Will they remain unexpressed? She does not really know. She realizes her eyelashes are wet again. Again. They are wet. And again, she brushes her fingertips against the glistening pearls and holds them before her eyes. She sighs. Tears of frustation they are. She shrugs her shoulders as if her worries would fall off and break into an uncountable number of unreparable pieces. But they do not. Not even for a while. She really is not as brave as she has believed she was. Not even close. It is strange. Some things are unpredictable. Another brush of fingertips under her eyes. Another string of thoughts. Another disappointment in the ways of the world. Another sigh. Another tear. Another shrug.

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