Seven Deadly Sins

23Mar08

She lies on her back curling her messy unbrushed hair around her finger. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She sees herself waking up, getting dressed, and grabbing the car keys as she rushes out the door. She sits in the car in complete silence for two minutes, then she hits a button and allows the music to soothe her. She drives around aimlessly allowing her mind to wander. She doesn’t want to lose that person. She doesn’t want to disobey that other person. She doesn’t want to be a commitment freak. She doesn’t want to compromise her life for someone either. She doesn’t want to give up on her hastily put together beliefs. She doesn’t want her life plans to go wrong. She doesn’t want to have a nervous breakdown. She doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable in her own skin. She doesn’t want a lot of things. She wants peace, serenity, and a revelation. She opens her eyes. She realizes that was yesterday. She takes another deep breath. She smiles. El7emdillah. She stares at the ceiling for a while just to clear her head. She curls another strand around her finger and puts her pencil between her teeth. Another deep breath. Her phone rings. She doesn’t even take a look to see who it is. She flips over to lie on her tummy. She sees a book her friend has lent her. She takes the pencil out of her mouth and puts it next to the book. She hesitates. She picks it up and starts reading. All her worries fly out the window. She knows that the moment she shuts the book, they’ll fly right back in. So, she keeps on reading until she falls asleep.

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