Elision

25Nov07

I hate being kept in the dark. I have the right to know major events in the lives of the people I love more than myself. If I’ve done so much for you, why not tell me what’s happening with you? Yes, even if it’s tragic. Is it too much to ask? I can’t believe you think it’s fair. How is it fair? You did it once, and I explained to you that it hurts. Why do it again? Why do I have to be the last to know? You’re not even telling me yourself. Were you planning to simply leave? I’m sorry you feel like I can’t handle this. I’m really sorry you feel that way. I’m also sorry I believe in you this much. I didn’t expect this. I feel betrayed. You betrayed me. Does it hurt? Because you really did. You betrayed me.

Do you think I have a problem with God’s will? I’m not an infidel, you know. I accept fate. I don’t accept negative things chosen by us. I can handle anything and everything when it comes to you. I can handle it better when I’m told of its progress. Told by you and not someone else. You shock me into this and you expect me to handle it perfectly? How is that a logical expectation? I’m not saying this to your face because I did that already several months ago. I’m disappointed in you, and it doesn’t feel good.

Don’t apologize when you know you’re going to do it again. I had my hopes up real high after last time this happened. I don’t love you like before. It’s all different now. Isn’t it?

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue.

P.S. If it makes you feel better, I still think it’s worth it🙂

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